Bulletproof

This time maybe I'll be bulletproof
When someone gets me down and I can't wake up from the nightmare of my life, when people hate me, when life is shit, when I feel like I have no friends, etc etc etc etc
fuck

Howdy do

Hello. I dunno what to write really. Oh well. xxx

Doctor Who

It makes you feel sad... it's happy, for deep people.

- Sally Sparrow (Doctor Who (Blink))

Here For A Moment

Nobody notices when we leave. I mean, the moment when we really chose to go. At best you might feel a whisper - or, the wave of a whisper... undulating down.
I was here for a moment. And then I was gone. I wish you all a long, and happy life.

- Susie Salmon (the Lovely Bones)

This applies to Lira, too. :'( sometimes I really miss her.

I Tried To Save You

I tried to save you from doing the stupid things, but you did them anyway. What the fuck was wrong with you? Do you have a problem?

Bitch. Even though you're dead, and I feel so mean doing this. But anyway.

Bitch.

All We Know of Heaven

Pearly gates
God and white frost
Angels, no demons
Happily ever after
This is all we know of heaven

Popular girls
Bullying, being blamed
People trying to make us angry
Bitches and queens
This is all we need of hell

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwrittenStaring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Brother

Her brother, he taught her how to fly
Her brother, he taught her how to cry
Wait for me, wait for me to show you
Wait for me, wait for me to show you
Her brother, he touched her down her soul
And she felt it, she felt it most
So show her your soul and she'll show you hers
So show her your soul and she'll show you hers
So who's gonna love her now baby?
So who's gonna love her now baby?
When you go fighting that war or at sea
Get on that ship and sail back to her
So who's gonna love her now baby?
So who's gonna love her now baby?
When you go fighting that war or at sea
Get on that ship and sail back to her
So who's gonna love her now baby?
So who's gonna love her now baby?
When you go fighting that war or at sea
Get on that ship and sail back to her
Get on that ship and sail back to her

Time

I will help you
In time I will say
That I love you
Eventually i'll mean it
Maybe not today
But I feel guilty
Coz it's gonna end
But baby
Thanks for being my friend :)

My Next Olivia/My Next Lira

My next Olivia is...

Olivia! We've fixed our lives and it's back to normal <3 <3 <3

Lights Fading

Lights fade as days end
The darkness creeps among us
And we stare at the empty room
And we shout to be heard
And we scream to be noticed
And we say
Take us back where we came from
Take us back to be loved
Help us find our own paths from then onwards
And bid us farewell
The lights forever fading
The lights forever fading

All Alone Again

So Olivia is no longer a part of my life, and I'm all alone again. Who will me my next Lira? Who will be my next Olivia?

Just For You

I live and I breathe

I wish I were more

But the more I wish

The more I look for

So many imperfections

So many things wrong

That I look beyond the great things

And feel sad for so long

But then I look into the sky

And I no longer ask myself

If it weren't for you what would I feel

If it weren't for you what cross would I bear

If it weren't for you what happens next

If it weren't for you would I even care

So just for you I write this now

So just for you I'm better now

So just for you I smile and hope

So just for you I'm not a cow

(: thank you :)



Gemstone

A poem that she wrote:

If it's good enough to be true

If you're happy to be blue

If you want to breathe in and out

If you live without a doubt

You're a gemstone

Rich and pure
You're a gemstone
Loved and adored

Open Your Mind

Open your mind to the bigger things
The nicer things
The prettier things
Open your mind to the well-off things
The worth it things
The birthed things

Open your mind and be loved xoxo

Happiness

I'm gonna try and leave you behind
I'll never forget you
But I'm gonna try and be happy
And do what I'm supposed to do
I hope I'll find you
But right now this is me
I have to be strong now
Forever will be

The Weird Thing

The weird thing is that I know it killed you eventually, I still cut myself when I feel like it's the only way to make my pain disappear...

This Is The Time To Smile

This is the time
This is the place
This is the one
This is the race

This is the time, they say
This is the time to smile
This is the time, they say
This is the time to smile

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I woke up this morning and turned on my computer, and what do I find? It's St. Patrick's Day! Thanks, Google, for telling me that!

Reaction

Whatever reaction you give to the world after an event will determine the REST OF YOUR LIFE...

All For One

“The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I ever had.”

“That we can be so mad we consider not to exist / When we both know there’s so much love clenched within our fists.”

“Who will bring me flowers when it’s over / And who will give me comfort when it’s cold.”

“Mister Inaccessible / Will this ever change? / One that remains the same is your still a picture in a frame.”

“Goodbye my lover / Goodbye my friend / You have been the one / You have been the one for me.”

“Me and Lira walking hand in hand / Me and Lira never wanna end / I’ll see you in another life / In Heaven where we never say goodbye.”

“I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone / But though you’re still with me / I’ve been alone all along.”

"A statue stands in a shaded place / An angel with an upturned face / Her name is written on polished rock / A broken heart that the world forgot."

“Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name / Nobody came / Father McKenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave / No one was saved.”

"I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch / But love is not a victory march / It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah.”

YOUlogy

So that's how 'eulogy' is pronounced. Maybe it's because that's how YOU feel about the parting of the hearts. That's what I thought when I wrote this:

Maybe it's time to change, but to stay in the same place forever. Maybe it's time for a parting of the hearts, or maybe she held onto mine. Will I ever know? Time directs you where it thinks you should go. But should I go to her?

I Found It

I finally found my soul. I found the one I love. She is Ribu.
If you knew her, you'd get it.

But you don't know her. She is Lira, but she doesn't have bipolar disorder like Lira did. And she's mine now.

I LOVE YOU!

Without Her

There are times in your life where you want to let go of what's important to you, and you want to make the ultimate sacrifice. There are times you want to die. But you chicken out of it. At the last second, you don't swallow those pills, you don't take the knife to you throat, you don't pull the trigger. You hesitate.But she didn't.
She took her knife, and she left.
But I don't know why she thought I could live without her. Without her, I am nothing.

If Only You Would Listen

Lira's parents were considerate people, but they were so caught up in their perfect world that they didn't know Lira was being bullied. When they saw the cuts on her face that were made by her own hand, she was locked in her room as punishment.

But this was the wrong thing to do.

She made cuts on her leg until there was barely any blood left in her. An hour later, they found her knocked out in her room. Rushing her to hospital, they revived her, thankfully, and she lived for another three years...

...But it wasn't enough. She was still being bullied, and now even more so than before because of the scars on her face, legs, and wrists. So she went home and did it all again. But this time, they couldn't revive her. There was nothing the doctors could do for her. She was dead.

And that's how the story really ended.

There's Always Another Way

I wrote this song, and I dedicate it to Lira.

Who smiles that way?
Who flips their hair and turns away?
Who died today?
You're my answer, you're the one
Who needs the rain?
Who cries until she cuts a vein?
Who laughs through the pain?
You're my answer, you're the one

Time grabs you by the wrist, you're still
You life, it ended at your own will
I've always dreamed of things I needed to say
And there's always another way

I've always blamed myself for this
You always explained it as being bliss
But how could something like that be real?
What is the appeal?